I came across product design in my final year of college, after dabbling in graphic design for a while. I watched youtube videos all day, trying to understand exactly what this is about. I met a few designers online and worked with them on a concept design project (check it out here).

When you check out someone's design case study, it gives you a fair idea of their abilities to problem solve, create aesthetically pleasing screens, and explain their thoughts clearly. What it doesn't show is all that it took to get there.

It doesn't show the nights they've spent lying awake, wondering if a creative career is for them. It doesn't show the amount of second guessing and confusion because they don't have a process yet. It doesn't show the helplessness of knowing their solution isn't quite right, but not knowing how to go about fixing it. It doesn't show the pain of disappointing the person helping and trying to make them better.

It took every ounce of my willpower and strength to not quit when things were tough — and trust me, they were tough every day. I literally made a wallpaper for my laptop to remind me to 'just keep swimming' (like Dory). To just keep showing up every day. To fall, to make mistakes, to get up and deal with brutal feedback. To understand that everyone learns at a different pace and it's normal to feel lost when you're only a few months in. To understand that having an engineering background is a blessing, not a curse.

These things seem very obvious in hindsight, but I promise you they weren't at the time. When you're compared to your peers and belittled for just not getting it, it really shatters your confidence.

I've sometimes found myself to be grateful to have gone through whatever I went through. After all, I wouldn't be here if not for it.  It's easy to look at people online and wonder how it's such a struggle for you but seems so effortless for them. All of my friends who are designers feel the same way, and each one of us has a different story.

That's how design is; there's no one way to learn. What's obvious to you is surprising to someone else. I'm still amused when people reach out to me for help and advice — If only they knew how clueless I was when I started.

While reflecting, I find it a bit funny that I used to put so much pressure on myself to start a career in what is essentially drawing rectangles all day (jk but you get it). Some days I find myself thinking about where I was over a year ago, and how scared my past self was that she would never be a product designer.

If only she could see me now.